blathers is a whole ass academic with phds in ichthyology and entomology and a minor in art history and yet when a small child hands him the literal mona lisa and tells him they bought it from his old flame’s ex-husband who is also a wanted criminal his response is to go hmmm. yes. thank you. the best place for this is the museum of this desert island. there is nothing strange at all about this turn of events.
just based on from what i can remember from the early game i feel like blathers is probably on the island to do a field survey on the local fauna and the paleontological significance of the area. so anyway cut to blathers back in animal city doing his presentation during the yearly conference. the powerpoint concludes and he asks for questions.
man in crowd: sir. sir may i ask–what is that in the background of the fourth slide
blathers: eh? oh! well, that’s one of the paintings which was kindly donated to me by this island’s inhabitants! isn’t it grand?
man in crowd, as his fellow academics begin to murmur: yes is…is that the…is that the real mona lisa, sir?
blathers: by my accounts i do believe it is!
man in crowd, now having to yell over the commotion: sir are you aware that that painting was stolen from the louvre in a highly publicized heist. it’s all over the news. how are you not aware of this
I’ll have limited copies of this in print at VanCAF17 this weekend, come see me at table D-11!
I hadn’t even realized that it’s the anniversary of the eruption today (May 18, 1980) - I think Mt St Helens herself possessed me to make this in a hurry.
[id: comic with muted orange, grey, blue-grey color scheme.
The sun rises over a snowcapped mountain, with the shadow of a tree-line in the foreground. ‘You remember they called you beautiful.’
A ray of light beams down from the center of the mountain, pooling at the base. ‘They praised you for your symmetry and said that you were Perfect. Because you looked like the mountains they imagined in the abstract. They may have convinced themselves that you were dormant
quiet
harmless
but
(in the pool of light) they did not know what boiled beneath your skin.’
Hiking boots stepping over cracked stone ‘they walked over and around you’
two people, small, gazing at a mountain lake ‘and they always praised your shape’
abstract birds flying over the mountain, clouds coming in. ‘you changed your shape’
The eruption, smoke pouring from the top.
Trees, ash clouds, an orange sky. 'with all the power that had pressurized inside you, you exploded into something new’.
broken rocks, ashy trees, smoke rising up. 'Craggy, craterous, like nothing they could imagine.’
inlaid panel, featuring two people at a lake with dead tree, saying: 'she used to be so pretty"
the sun rises above the mountain. The sky is clear, and a field of flowers covers the meadow below. “And do not see the flowers that grew from your ashes” /end id]
I miss the genre of movie where literally anything can happen and there’s no questioning it. there’s no judgment. like. a bunch of kids explore a booby trap rigged cave system & find a pirate ship with treasure while an italian crime family tries to kill them. some guys start a ghost fighting agency and then blow up a giant stay puff marshmallow man. david bowie is a goblin king and there’s wonky puppets and a labyrinth. a child commits war crimes against two burglars on christmas. a dad pretends to be a nanny to hang out with his kids. jim carrey in eighty pounds of green make up and fur terrorizes a town. like seriously. bring back absolutely hog wild bonkers ass movies. shits getting boring
Sure, we’d all like to think Clark Kent dresses like a cross between a soft nerd and a lumberjack, but if we’re going to be accurate and honor the fact that he grew up on a rural farm in middle America, we have to acknowledge that he probably wears camouflage baseball hats
this is what I mean
Clark left his Carhart jacket in the pickup.
Image Description: Clark is wearing jeans, with a black belt, a grey t-shirt that has “Kent Farm” across his chest, and of course a cameo hat, he is smiling, he has his arm raised in greeting and says “Hey B! Glad you could make it!” to Bruce who is in a black suit, with a white dress shirt, and holding a paper coffee cup, he has beard stubble, dark circles under his eyes, and messy hair, he raises his eyebrow and says “Jesus Christ. Why are you dressed like you’re in a Ford commercial?” Clark replies “idk, why are you dressed like you are in a documentary about a stock broker who does coke?” Bruce looks unimpressed.
Babygirl I go through spoons faster than you can even imagine
Everyone tagging this “I thought this was about spoon theory”: that works too. Here, you can have this post. It’s yours now. If you need me I’ll be emptying my ungodly overfilled cutlery bin from the dishwasher.
This description of me is wildly inaccurate. I run off of stress and do not floss my teeth. But thank you for this quiz I very much enjoyed all the questions.
Also @aspec-friendly-uquiz I think this one is clean except for the word ‘sexy’ mentioned in some of the results.
Image Description: A pixelated close up of a face with a Naruto style headband, peach skin, a black and red eye, and a face covering over the mouth “Your result: Etho Channel name:Ethoslab You act mysterious and all, but actually knowing stuff about you is way more confusing than anything. I don’t know how you manage to do as much as you do with zero stress or pressure, but I envy you. You floss your teeth with the line between insanity and ancient wisdom. Congratulations you’re a Tumblr Sexyman”
By the way, the way that No Child Left Behind impacts the trade worker shortage in the US is because in about 2002 shop classes, home ec classes, auto classes, etc, had their funding diverted into teaching kids how to pass standardized tests so that the schools could continue to pay teachers and keep the library open.
This is one place where I actually WILL do the generational thing and say that Millennials and Gen Z got completely fucked in a way that older generations didn’t.
It’s actually really fucking hard to repair a cabinet when you’ve never had a shop class. It’s really goddamned difficult to learn everything about car maintenance on your own through youtube videos instead of in a semester of auto shop. It’s really goddamned difficult to figure out you want to be a plumber or an electrician or a welder when you are eighteen years old, have been taught to pass tests and cajoled into applying for college, and you’ve never handled an air compressor or used a socket wrench.
The ‘No Child Left Behind’ program was a disaster
Is. Is a disaster.
It’s still on the books.
I’m sorry, are you telling me americans can choose to learn how to fix cars, during school, as an actual class, as a pat of the school curriculum!?
I’m telling you we USED TO be able to do that.
You know all of those household things that middle class Boomers like to mock Millennials for not knowing and having to go on YouTube for instructions?
They learned all of that in school–in Home Economics, in Shop, in various other classes.
And then they all voted for lower taxes and cut the curriculums when they became adults, and the funding dried up. NCLB was just the final blow.
As a Gen Xer, I would like to point out that Home EC and Shop were often gender segregated, and if you were amab and wanted to take Foods/Sewing, or afab or wanted to take Mechanical Drawing and Shop, you frequently got harassed. A LOT. I had to sit next to the mechanical drawing teacher so that boys wouldn’t harass me when I was 13.
My generation asked for the classes to be fully integrated so as not to be sexist.
They dropped the classes and told us that they were doing it to not be sexist.
It had nothing to do with NCLB or lower taxes. It had to do with the fact that there were people out there who would rather drop all the classes entirely than let “boys” learn how to sew and let “girls” learn how to fix stuff.
